Ok, so I'm nervous. Last Monday was the THIRD time I have applied to Massachusetts College of Art and Design. The first year, when my best friends and my boyfriend all got their accept letters, I awaited expecting nothing other than a yes. When I received the little envelope, I was humbled... as I balled my eyes out at the utter rejection and the absolute demotion of the level that I thought I was. My friends made the greatest angry faces at the news.
Fortunately-ish, according to them, my problem was my low GPA. During my freshman year at the Art Institute of Boston, I began to really explore what I could do with different mediums and I brought my GPA up to a 3.44. Feeling accomplished as a mofo, I was certain I couldn't be turned away again. So when I received the second letter of rejection I was so dejected. The shock even gave me sudden hiccups, my mother noted.
This year, I applied again. But for the Spring Semester. Due to technicalities I'll be demoted to freshman status... if I'm accepted. My resume expressed how I'm balancing two jobs while also going to two separate schools, one for academics, the other for studio courses. Since I'm only taking three academic courses, I'm nervous that I'll receive a third, anorexic envelope. On the upside, I'm happy with my portfolio with oldies
and new things,
until that special letter arrives this coming November, there is this festering anxiety inside. For the next month, my goal is to busy myself more so than I am now so I don't have a moment to think of despair and only spend moments to create. More will get done that way, I imagine.
There has never been a
TV character that has moved me to tears besides Cory Monteith. At
the end of Glee’s 3rd season finale, Lea Michele’s character,
Rachel Berry, was on her way to marry Finn Hudson. Or so she thought, until
Finn explained to her they weren’t getting married because he was setting her
free to become a star in New York. This brought Rachel to inexplicable sorrow
and painful tears. It astounded me how Cory’s performance was so beautiful
executed that, though knowing it is fictional and nothing actually horrible
happened, I cried. I cried hard and ugly, in fact. Finn
Hudson was always a character that I appreciated but after that scene I really
grew to adore him. Finn’s prom and graduation was the same year as mine, which
amused the dork in me, but also we both received rejection letters. Our
Significant Others had gone to school out of state to flourish; we were trapped
in our hometowns to fester. Cory’s performance perfectly portrayed all the
emotions I had been feeling as a lost kid trying to figure out what to do but
still having that undying support of best friends and a lover. This made me
feel very close to him. So it’s no surprise that he is also the first celebrity
who I ever cried for.After logging into
Tumblr after a long absence, I began noticing “We’ll miss you, Cory” posts.
Initially I thought they were referring to the latest season finale where Finn
was finding himself. When I realized what happened, I began to cry harder and
uglier than ever before. Glee
made a beautiful tribute to him. It was probably the only episode I was glad
that had commercials because it gave me a chance to breathe between crying. The
opening scene alone started my tears as they covered my favorite song that Cory
sang, "I'll Stand By You". When Rachel Berry returned home in
her schoolgirl attire, I was extremely touched and overwhelmed at the sweet
notion. Lea Michele’s line, He was my person, will never leave
my mind or heart.